I really need to get over this unhealthy obsession I have with control. Human beings are cruel. Life is cruel. There are some things I can't make better, just because I want them to be, and that drives me crazy. There are so many people I care about that I would trade places with, just so they didn't have to deal with their pain. I'm not trying to sound like a saint or a martyr, because I'm probably the furthest thing from one. What I really want to do is be the person that everyone goes with their problems, so I can be the one to make them magically go away and get all the credit for it. I guess I'm more selfish than selfless.
I wish I could just stand on a rooftop and shout all my emotions, with the knowledge that the people that needed to hear them, would. Along with control, I need to let myself open up. I can't blame the past anymore. I should be over all of that.
Whatever. Amos Lee says it best:
nothing is more powerful than beauty in a wicked world.
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Its hard for everyone to get over what is in the past. But you should solve your own problems before moving on to different people's. If you don't, your own problems will leak in and the problem will revert to you again. But whatever, it's nice to be selfless :)
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